Stumble. Recover. Get back up. Keep Truckin’.
I’ve had a rough couple weeks since my Type II diagnosis. So much information to digest. So many life changes to consider. So much “homework” to do with regard to what I need to do, when I need to do it, and what it means when this or that is happening with my blood sugar and such.
On top of all that, I’m still feeling pretty darn crappy (including the new and exciting fun of having extremely blurred vision - I’ll save that for another post), working FT at a job that can be stressful emotionally, trying to be an attentive and loving (vs exhausted and crabby) mom, with bills to pay, yard & housework to get back on top of, and overall LIFE to deal with. Wheeeee!!
In a weird way though, I’ve started to feel more peaceful about this curve ball of a diagnosis. Yeah, I’ve had some ups and downs the past few days. I even stumbled big time by resorting to some old (crappy) behaviors that do not serve me anymore. E.g. I ate some pizza last night, and holy crap, did it do a number on my stomach AND my glucose readings. But things are changing, mind, body and soul, they just are.
Another weird peaceful kind of thing? I’m finding myself really enjoying food for the first time in a long time (and I’m a FOODIE people!). Maybe it’s because I’m eating so much less of it, or maybe it’s because suddenly the flavor of what I eat (and savoring the way I eat it) really matters. I’m starting to notice the feeling of fullness and satisfaction when it comes to eating; something that skinny folks likely don’t even think about, but that I have utterly ignored for the better part of a decade or more.
Of course, I’m also moving my body every single day, even if it’s only to do housework or walk to/from the ferry dock during commute days. That feels pretty good… though I have a lot more to do in this aspect of my new health and wellness plan. Baby steps though, right?
Mostly, I’m taking this one day a time. Heck, one minute at a time when need be. Yesterday totally sucked and I spent a lot of time beating myself for doing the unthinkable with scarfing down that stupid pizza. But today has been a MUCH better day, so I’ll take it (and hopefully, learn to let the “bad”, the “mistakes”, and the “stumbles” go).
I’m going to keep on truckin’, even though recovery is really hard. Because let’s face it, what’s the alternative?