Awesomesauce to the power of infinity…

Love how I always end up being the bad guy (aka parent) and all around a$shole. No matter what I do, it’s not good enough. I’m no fun. I’m a stick in the mud. I don’t sleep enough. Laugh enough. RELAX enough. How effing awesome that I get to suit up and show up (whether I want to or not), but never get a single pat on the back from the one who *is* good enough, fun up the wazoo, Play-in-the-Mud, laughing, super rested and relaxed guy.

If this is how it’s going to be for the next 12+ years, then just shoot me now. Or load me up on the friggin’ Xanax and Prozac until I’m all but comatose. Because I don’t want to play these stupid reindeer games anymore.

One more day & my daughter will be back in Seattle. It’s been a long week & 1/2 without her here and though I did my best to enjoy the time off from mommy-hood (sort of), mostly I just missed the heck out of her.

Yeah. I’m sure I’ll be all stressed out again soon enough, but right now I just need some serious Dexy love. I can’t wait to see her tomorrow so I can scoop her up & smother her with smooches & hugs.

Joan Boating on Flickr. Hi mom. Can you see me? I’m waving at you. And thinking of you, as always. Five years today since you left us. How is that even possible? I still find myself reaching for the phone to call you, almost daily, just to tell you how things are going, or about your beautiful granddaughter and how goofy she is, or to ask you a question that I can’t remember the answer to. Broken hearts never really mend, do they? And without you here, my heart is truly broken. I miss you as much as you always told me how dearly you missed you mom… I’m sorry I didn’t understand. I do now. And I love you. Signed, Me.
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Joan Boating on Flickr.

Hi mom. Can you see me? I’m waving at you. And thinking of you, as always.

Five years today since you left us. How is that even possible? I still find myself reaching for the phone to call you, almost daily, just to tell you how things are going, or about your beautiful granddaughter and how goofy she is, or to ask you a question that I can’t remember the answer to.

Broken hearts never really mend, do they? And without you here, my heart is truly broken. I miss you as much as you always told me how dearly you missed you mom… I’m sorry I didn’t understand. I do now. And I love you.

Signed,

Me.